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Caught in the Act - What to Do if Your Child Catches you Having Sex

Imagine this... You and your partner are having some much needed and maybe even rare intimate time and your child suddenly barges into your bedroom because they had a bad dream. 

This is a scenario we all hope to avoid. If this hasn't happened to you yet lets first talk about how to make sure. 

How NOT to get caught!

If you want to not have this happen to you, try this...

1. Get a lock on your door and use it when you need private time.

2. Talk to your kids about privacy. Teach them that when a door is closed (bathroom or bedroom) it is polite to knock first and wait for permission to enter someone's room. Tell them that when your door is shut that you would like them to do this. 

3. When you enter your child's room knock or say "knock, knock" before entering. This will model the behavior you want from your child.  

4. Use soft music or have the TV on to soften any sounds you may make during love making.  

5. As your child gets older, explain to them that sometimes adults like to have alone time and need some privacy. Reinforce the knocking before entering rule.  

If you get caught

Remember that it is not the end of the world and things are always as big of a deal as we make them.  Yes, it will be an awkward moment and you may feel embarrassed. However, it won't be the first time that has ever happened to a parent, or the last and you can handle it with a few tips.

If you child is young try this:

1. This will likely happen naturally, but stop what you are doing. 

2. Stay calm. Don't scream or yell. 

3. Cover yourself or quickly get dressed and walk your child out of the room. You could also calmly ask them to go back to what they were doing and say you'll be there in a minute. 

4. See what they needed. If they ask what you were doing simply say you were having adult private time. If they ask more questions keep it short and sweet. 

Sometimes young kids may think someone is being hurt or the two of you are having fun playing or wrestling.  Assure your child that nobody was being hurt if they say this. 

If a child walks in on you in the middle of the night it is likely your child is half asleep and may not remember what they saw. They also will likely not know what you were doing. You can talk about it in the morning if you want to and ask your child if they have any questions about last night.  Otherwise you probably won't need to talk much about it. 

If this was not night time sex when you got caught you could try distracting your child by changing the subject and doing something else. For example, say "The first one to the kitchen gets a cookie."

If your child is older and knows what sex is try this:

1. Still stop what you are doing. 

2. Calmly ask your child to leave the room and that you will talk to them in a minute. They may rush out on their own especially if they realize what they walked in on.  

3. If your child screams or is grossed out because they know what you were doing you can calmly say that next time and any time this day forward, they should knock first and wait for the okay to come into the room.  You could joke that they learned their lesson.  

4. Keep your cool. Your child will likely be embarrassed too. Getting caught is not super uncommon and know that it is not the end of the world. 

Don't allow fear of being walked in on stop you from being intimate with your partner. With a few of the prevention tips you could avoid this scenario all together.  If you have more questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with others please comment below.  Remember, you've got this!   


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